Everyone continues to tell me that one day ill look beck on this day and laugh at myself but that still dosent make me stop. Each night i find myself crying over the same things that build up in my life - on the bathroon floor. My worse night to date was when i left Manny's house. Manny is a childhood friend who i date occasionally. I wont go into detail about  how my relationship evolved with him because that can go on for days and days but everyone knows what its like to fall in love and get hurt. The only problem with me is i rather get hurt one time and cry about it for days then what i did to myself. Im "seeing" Manny and I want to be with him but in his head, he only wants to "fool around". As everyone can see, hes a complete asshole. But the truth is... IM THE ASSHOLE. For three years that ive been "seeing" him. Ive allowed him to USE ME... & i have to live with that fact that i lowered myself so low for a guy. Sounds like such a little problem & everyone tells me to get over it and move on but i cant or shud i say i wont.... ive become so used to him that i dont know how to not run back to him all the time.